


Patchwork

by ThunderShock



Series: Rebuilding [2]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aliens, F/F, Memory Loss, Military Training, Road Trips, Ship name Top Gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2020-01-05 08:50:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18362672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderShock/pseuds/ThunderShock
Summary: Carol has just started to get her memories back but what will they revealREAD 1ST PART BEFORE YOU READ THIS





	1. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just the beginning of this work and is not a reflection of how future chapters will look. Future chapters will be split up into 3 parts like the previous fic.

"I want," Carol paused "No, I _need_ to go back."

"Yes, you do." Soren agreed, she was getting tired of this repetitive conversation she was having with Carol. She had made the same argument three times already and Soren had agreed with her every time.

"But I have responsibility here. I can't leave you defenseless." Carol pleaded.

"Carol, who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? I want you to go. They are your family, and trust me I know what it's like to be away from those you love for so long." Carol winced at her words, Soren had been trapped on Mar-Vell's ship for years, unsure of whether Talos was alive or dead or had just stopped looking.

"I don't even know how long I've been away, it could be months or even years. What if-" Carol's throat constricted at the thoughts that were berating her mind.

_What if they moved on?_

_What if they don't need me anymore?_

_What if they don't want me any more?_

" **Hey!** " Soren said forcefully, "No, what if's. From what you've told me about them, they will be thrilled to have you back."

Carol exhaled slowly, using the methods she had learned as Vers to help calm herself. That was one of the few things she would always be grateful to the Kree for. She had found out after leaving Earth that the root of her powers was linked to her emotions. The stronger the emotion she felt the more difficult they were to control. The implant that had been in her neck had been some sort of power conduit that siphoned off the energy she produced from strong emotions. 

She also figured that the reason they tried so hard to ingrain the need to control her emotions was another way to control her powers. She hated the fact that she had to analyze everything that they taught her, just in case it was some form of manipulation. It made her question everything she learned and felt while with her team and on Hala.

But she needed it, the control. 

The memories she unlocked thanks to Talos and the Skrull memory device were helping her remember who she was before the accident. But she still felt lost. She had some key memories back, like finding out Maria was pregnant, or the call from her mother that her father had died. But she still wasn't Carol Danvers and she wasn't Vers anymore. 

Talos and the other Skrulls had taken to calling her Captain Marvel when they were off ship, it was a running joke that Talos had started after their first encounter with a Kree ship. She liked the name but it didn't feel like who she was. She was so much more than this space traveling Avenging angel, so much more than the Carol Danvers that died on Earth, so much more than the lost Vers who was searching for a home she couldn't remember. She felt closer to Carol Danvers than to Vers but without all her memories back she was just Carol when she was not being Captain Marvell.

"I know they would love to have me back and I would love to go back, but. But what if who I am now is too different from who I was."

"If they truly love you it won't matter. Think of Talos and I. I didn't see him for just as long as you and Maria, but I knew the moment I heard him calling that I didn't care what he had done to get back, that I loved him just as much as when he left, and I'm sure that Maria and Monica felt the same."

"But they didn't even mention who I really was to them. They just kept calling me the best friend."

"The fate of the planet was at stake. They made the logical choice to keep you focused on taking down the Kree and saving us. You wouldn't have let Maria fly that plane and leave Monica alone if you knew what they meant to you, and Fury and Talos and so many others would have died as a result. But now that Earth is safe and you have more of your memories back and you _chose_ to comeback this time, maybe they will tell you and help you fill in some of the smaller details."

"Okay, you're right." Carol conceded. "But I'm not going back until I find you a safe planet and I'll only be gone for a few days, a week at most." 

"Two weeks _minimum_ or I have Talos feed your jacket to Goose the next time he visits Fury." Carol's eyes widen and a look of betrayal comes across her face.

"You wouldn't dare." She says fearfully.

"Oh yes I would. You are spending two weeks with them and that is final or we can see how leather holds up in a Flerken's stomach." Carol sighs in defeat and a smug grin spreads across the Skrull's face. 

"Fine you win," Carol huffs out "but, only after I find you guys some where safe to stay."

"Great, now get some sleep you look exhausted." Carol would have been offended if it wasn't true.

She dream of flying as she did most nights, but tonight she dreamt of flying on Earth over the small Louisiana home instead of the stars and she had never been more thrilled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this a full 3 part chapter but I felt like the theme I was going to go with for the other sections didn't really fit. So I made this an introduction chapter and the next chapter will have Carol back on Earth. 
> 
> P.S.: Homemade Dynamite by Lorde is literately Maria and Carol


	2. The Start of a Journey

"Vers, welcome to basic training." Yon-Rogg announced as they entered a large camp site on the other side of Hala from where she had originally awoken. There were people of all different species running about, it felt familiar. 

"You will spend how ever long it takes here to get you into shape. It will be _the_ most difficult thing you've ever done."

"Like I would remember if it was." Vers grumbled and Yon-Rogg gave her a pointed look. 

"As I was saying, it's going to be extremely challenging. You will not only train your body but your mind as well. You will need to be able to identify a Skrull even if they are disguised as well as be able to kill it." Vers tried to hide her cringe at the thought of killing, but Yon-Rogg caught it.

"You have been chosen by the Supreme Intelligence to join Starforce. It has given you your powers for this reason, to make you the best. If you do not learn to control yourself, both physically and mentally, your powers will burn you from the inside out."

"But why me? Why not someone who is already trained and not some amnesiac?" Vers could feel her fists start to heat up before the monitor in her neck kicked in absorbing the energy.

"The power requires a blank slate. Someone who is strong enough to wield them and also able to learn and adapt to them. An adult with no memories is the perfect candidate, their bodies are fully formed and strong and their minds can easily adapt to the changes that the power brings." Yon-Rogg's words sounded to rehearsed, to scripted, to Vers, but she dismissed it as just something that he knew and she didn't. 

There were a lot of things in the category, like how to work the food machines in the cafeteria or how not to offend a Korlaian (Don't mention their tusks to them).

"So, depending on how well you train determines how long you will be here. Most people spend three to five years here."

" _Years!?_ " Vers exclaimed, drawing attention from a few people passing by. Yon-Rogg just smirked at her, and Vers had the itch to punch it right off of him.

"Don't worry about it, you're going to miss it when it's over. It's hard and grueling, but you get used to it. You will have several teachers here. Hoardak is the weapons master, he will teach you to use every type of weapon. Po-Jo is the technology supervisor and will teach you how to use the gear you will use in the field. Polis is the physical training instructor, and I am your hand to hand combat teacher. You will grouped up with a squdron of other trainees who will learn and train with you at every step. Any questions?"

"Yeah, wheres the bathroom?"

\---

"Come on, get your lazy ass out of bed Danvers!" Maria yelled just before ripping the covers off a semi asleep Carol, who groaned loudly at the loss of her blanket and buried her head under her pillow. Carol was awake enough to be thankful that she was sober enough last night to have changed into a tank top and boy shorts before crashing into her bed last night.

"No, nope, no way. This was your idea, you're getting out of bed or were taking my car and not your beat up old Mustang." Carol slowly pulled her head out from under her pillow to glare at the woman who had barged into her room at this ungodly hour.

"You wanna take that POS Camero of yours on a road trip? It won't even make it to state lines, let alone out of the parking lot."

"Big words coming from someone who's still in their underwear." Maria said as she looked up and down the length of Carol's body. Carol's response was to throw her pillow at the woman, if only to hide the intense blush that was forming on her cheeks. 

Carol already knew that she had a massive crush on the woman and the blatant and innocent flirting was not helping her situation. She's know ever since Rebecca Hanson in high school that she was as far from straight as she could get, but Maria, Maria had a new boy toy every week. Carol also knew that this road trip was a great and terrible idea. She loved spending time with Maria, but she knew that if she kept it up at this rate she would fall too hard and that there would be no getting back up from it.

"You're the one who broke into my appartment at," Carol glanced at her alarm clock, "five A.M! Are you kidding me Rambeau the sun's not even out yet."

"You're the one who gave me a key,"

"For emergencies!"

"and the one who wanted to get an early start and beat the traffic." Maria said as she threw the pillow back.

"Now, get dressed or I'm dragging your ass to my Camero and shoving you in the trunk." Maria paused then snickered, "Then I'd have some real junk in my trunk."

"Oh my god." Carol groaned at the terrible joke as she fell back on to her bed, hiding the smirk she had on her face that she would never admit was ever there. Maria laughed at her antics as she walked out and Carol tried and failed to not watch her as she did.

' _God, I am so screwed_ ' Carol thought to herself as she got changed.

Carol might have been _slightly_ hung over has she made her way out to her small appartment's even smaller kitchen, but that quickly changed at the sight of Maria in her kitchen. Maria was just putting on omelet onto a plate when Carol paused at the threshold. 

"God, I love you." Carol said the words just falling out and immediately froze once she realized what she had just said.

"Of course you do I made coffee and breakfast." Maria said taking her comment in stride.

This was going to be one hell of a road trip.

\---

Flying had always been one of her favorite things, the speed, the freedom, the exhilaration. Flying in space just multiplied those feelings. She has seen so many wondrous things since gaining her powers and so many horrific things. She has seen the birth of stars and galaxies, and their demise as well. She has seen the first foot steps of life on far off worlds and she has seen the last. She has journeyed so far but she knew it was time to go home. Her journey through the universe was not over, but her search for home was.

She broke through the atmosphere of the small and lush moon that she had hidden Talos and the other Skrulls on and paused looking back at the moon. It was covered in forests and the landscape was dotted with oceans and the occasional desert, it was a beautiful planet, so full of life. She was still worried about leaving them for so long, but she knew it was good for both of them. They needed to learn to survive without her and she needed to go back to her family.

She turned away for the moon and took off towards the nearest jump point that would take her to C-, no Earth, her home. 

She had gone through jump points when she was part of Starforce in space crafts but going through them alone without any form of shielding was an experience in itself. Her body was significantly stronger, not in just muscle but her skin was stronger and her bones didn't break. She knew her bones used to be able to, she had the scar on her arm to prove it. 

She could feel the tunnel that the jump point opened pulling at her skin and mind. Colors were rushing by blurring into one another, she could vaguely make out stars as she raced by. She could feel the energy in her veins increasing very second she got closer to home.

Then it all stopped. 

She looked out into the space in front of her and saw the Earth slowly spinning the Sun glowing just behind it giving it an ethereal glow and she knew she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to do phrase chapters instead of one word chapters, it would give me more flexibility and idea for future chapters 
> 
> Also I don't remember who had the Camero and who had the Mustang, but my brain is saying Carol had the Camero. Edit: I had it backwards 
> 
> More Vers's training is coming and we get to meet her squad!  
> The road trip section was a lot of fun to write.  
> Maria and Monica will be in the next chapter more
> 
> I made a tumblr for asking you guys (the readers) questions that I have while writing this or for you guys to tell me your ideas  
> http://thunder42shock.tumblr.com/


	3. First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this an hour after watching Endgame for the first time and I am not okay.
> 
> Thanks to tri-chan on tumblr for the pre Captain Marvel idea! (I had to change it a bit to fit with the time period)
> 
> Also I have 2 other fics that I also worked on while, uh, not writing this. One about Fury and Goose and another wlw Marvel fic from an underappreciated ship.
> 
> * **The 3rd section has had an additon to it at the end of it** * -Edit made 6/3 (It's adorable) break (-) signifies the start of the added part

After an unnecessarily long trip to the bathroom, mainly because Yon-Rogg kept complaining the entire time, 'Why didn't you go before we got here?' or 'We are going to be late because of this.' and just to spite him.

Vers finally made it to the barracks where her future squad awaited her. She stood before the heavy metal door, her hand on the handle. She didn't know if she was nervous, excited, or both. Yon-Rogg leaned on the wall next to the door and cleared his throat, startling her out of her train of thought.

"Are you going to stand there all day or are you actually going to open it?"

"I'm just deciding on my type of entrance, you only get one first impression."

"Just try not to be too much of yourself, you don't want to scare them off just yet."

"So no photon blasts?" Vers said with a small grin at the thought. 

"No photon blasts." Yon-Rogg stated sternly. 

"You're no fun." Vers said with a pout which Yon-Rogg mockingly mimicked. 

"Fine, fine, have it your way, no photon blasts." Vers grumbled before turning back towards the door. 

"All right, here we go." Vers said softly before pulling the door open and stepping into the well lit room. 

It was not what she was expecting to say the least. The noise was the first thing to hit her. The sheer volume hurt her ears and she wondered why she wasn't able to hear it outside. The noise was a mix of people yelling and loud music that had a good rhythm but she couldn't make out any words to it over the amount of yelling. It wasn't angry yelling, more of an excited party yelling.

It was tight room with bunk beds lining the walls and a round table in the center of the room. There were four beings, sitting around the table with a holographic projection of what looked like two people fighting. Upon closer inspection Vers saw that one of the fighters had four arms and the other seemed to be a horse?

The projection was quickly shut off once they noticed Vers and Yon-Rogg had entered the room. They all stood up quickly their backs straight and their right arm across their chest. Vers had quickly learned that this action was Starforce's salute. Yon-Rogg repeated the salute at them and their arms dropped to their sides but they remained stiff.

Vers was able to take in her squad for the first time. It was made up two Kree, a tall blue skinned male and a slightly shorter pink skinned female. When Vers had first heard the term pink skin she almost punched the guy. Yon-rogg had to pull her aside and explain to her about how Kree skin colors can widely vary. 

Vers's eyes caught on her other two squad mates. One looked almost Kree but had two intenna protruding from her forehead. Vers had to do a double take at her last squad mate who looked to be made of actual rocks.

"Primus." Yon-Rogg called out and the tall well built blue skinned Kree stepped forward.

"Yes, Commander?" Primus's voice was deep and confident.

"This is Vers," Yon-Rogg said as he motioned toward Vers, "you're new recruit." Primus's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked her up and down.

"Show her the ropes and try to keep her in line." Yon-Rogg gave her a small smirk before he said "She can be quite the handful." Vers glared back at him.

"Right then, best of luck to you all." Yon-Rogg said to them all before turning to leave. He stopped next to Vers before quietly saying "Remember your powers are to remain secret." Vers gave him a short nod and Yon-Rogg continued out.

Once Yon-Rogg left Vers turned back to the group of people. Vers suddenly felt self conscious as she saw the judgemental and inquisitive looks she was getting from all of them. 

"Uh, hi, I'm Vers." She said with a small wave. "Which he already mentioned." She said quietly as she rocked back onto her heels. 

"Grok" The man made of rocks said in a gravely voice.

"I am Galen-Kor" The female Kree to her left said drawing Vers's attention away from the talking pile of rocks.

"Kar-En." The girl with the intenna said with a nod. 

"So, squad, what are we watching?" Vers said as she gestured towards were the holographic fight was being displayed.

"The latest fight from Sakaar. Someone was stupid enough to fight the current champion, Beta Ray Bill." Grok said as he turned the projection back on.

\---

Carol's first impression of the famed Maria 'Photon' Rambeau was one of awe. She had heard about her at the academy, Maria was two years ahead of her but was already on the fast track to becoming a Captain. She had heard stories of how she broke the obstacle course record by almost a full minute and how she pranked the boys in her unit by dying all their underwear hot pink and got away with it.

Carol's mother had always told her to never meet your heroes, that they would never live up to your expectations, but Maria was the exception. 

Carol has spend two years at an airforce base in Florida when she was assigned to Pegasus and was close to making Captain herself. She had been there just over two weeks when her new friend Steve, told her about how they all get together at a bar not too far from base called Panchos after a long day of flying. 

She liked Steve, he wasn't like the other male pilots that she had flown with. He didn't make those disgusting cockpit jokes or talk down to her, which was a fantastic change of pace, but he was incredibly dull in every other fashion. 

That was how she wound up sitting at the bar at Ponchos drinking a beer and fending off the over eager and overly cocky male pilots. There were so many different things happening at once, there was a loud darts game happening, someone was getting hustled at pool, someone who should not be singing karaoke was, and over all the noise one stood out to her. The sound that she had heard so many times it was as familiar as her own heart beat, the sounds of a pinball machine playing in the background.

Carol look across the sea of people and bomber jackets and saw the one person she had been wanting to meet since she started working at Pegasus, Maria Rambeau. She was watching, her face full of concern and worry as she watched the man playing pinball. Carol could see his score and it was approaching the current high score. She finished her beer before making her way through the crowd toward the arcade game. Just as she reached them the man let out a loud cheer of victory. 

"Yes! I new high score. A man's back on top. All right who's next? Who dares to take on the champion?" Carol grimaced at the overly cocky attitude and noticed the same expression on Maria's face.

"I'll take you." Carol said as she approached the console. 

"You think you can beat the champion?" He said as he looked her up and down with a sneer.

"No," she said with a shrug "I know I can." Carol saw Maria try and hide the smirk that appeared on her face at Carol's words. 

"The deal is the looser buys the bar a round."

"And how many round did you have to buy before you beat her?" Carol questioned with a gesture towards Maria.

"Enough that he had to eat MRE's for a month." Maria was no longer trying to hide the smirk on her face as she spoke. "Avenge me hot shot and I'll buy you an extra round on top of his and mine." Maria say with a pat on her shoulder as she passed Carol on her way to the bar.

"I'll hold you to that." Carol called over her shoulder at the taller woman.

Carol wiped the floor with the ' _champion_ ', crushing his high score by several thousand points. Carol left him to sulk at the console as she went to collect her winnings from the former champion. 

"There she is!" Maria call out as she approached the bar. "The Avengers herself," Maria paused "I don't actually know your name."

"Danvers, Carol Danvers." She said as she stuck a hand out which Maria shoved a beer into.

"Well Danvers, Carol Danvers, I'm Maria Rambeau call sign 'Photon'."

"I know who you are, you were a legend at the academy." 

"You're a pilot too? I should have guessed, you've got that hot shot Top Gun vibe."Maria said as she looked up and down Carol, who might have flexed.

"Higher, further, faster baby." Maria laughed and Carol hid her smile behind the beer bottle as she took a sip. 

"So, Danvers, Carol Danvers, I showed you mine now you show me yours." Carol inhaled the last of her sip of beer at Maria's words and started furiously coughing at the liquid in her lungs. Maria just laughed and grinned at her reaction. 

"Uh, what?" Carols voice was rough from coughing.

"Your call sign. what is it?" 

Carol blushed and avoided looking Maria in the eye as she mumbled something. 

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that." Maria said not backing down and Carol sighed still not looking at Maria.

"I don't have one" Maria just cocked her head at her with confused expression on her face. 

"You kidding right?"

"Yeah, well my squad mates never bothered to give me one. They either ignored me or vaguely gestured towards me and said her. I'm not even sure they knew my name. It's not like it's written on my jacket or anything."

"Well for one they probably didn't have enough brain cells to be able to read, and secondly you need a call sign. Something badass." Maria paused to think. 

"Avenger." Maria said with a snap of her fingers.

"What?" Carol was stunned by the woman sitting next to her.

"Yeah, you just avenged my pinball title, which I will be reclaiming later by the way." Maria said smugly.

Carol just sat there stunned taking in the woman before her. In the twenty minutes she had know her, she had already changed her life. 

"Well Avenger, I still owe you another drink for avenging my title from that dickwad, so drink up."

\---

Carol was more nervous than she had been in years as she stood outside of the small Lousiana home. She had started to regain some of her lost memories thanks to Talos and the Skrulls, but she wasn't sure that it was enough. There were so many things still missing from her memories. She could just fly away and spend two weeks somewhere, anywhere else.

Her decision was taken from her and she didn't care as she heard Monica yell "Auntie Carol!" and run out of the small house at full force. 

The smile that broke out on her face was so wide it hurt but she could care less. She crouched down and spread her arms just before Monica reached her. If she wasn't worried about actually crushing Monica she would have hugged her with all her considerable strength. 

"You came back." Monica said softly into her old jacket.

"Of course I did, I couldn't stay away for too long. A Captain needs a Lieutenant." She could feel Monica's grip tighten on her as she spoke.

"Sorry, get your own." Carol looked up from where her head was buried Monica's neck at the sound of Maria's voice to see her leaning against the side of the doorframe, watching them.

"If I remember right," Maria stood up straight at her words "she was my Lieutenant Trouble first. You were too busy talking to your mother to join us, so technically I've got dibs." 

Carol could see Maria brain working overtime, trying to figure out if Carol had started to remember and how much she remember.

"Come on Auntie Carol we were just about to start dinner." Monica said as she started to drag Carol inside. As they passed Maria on their way in, Carol could still see the conflicted look in her eyes but they were mixed with something else.

The inside of the Lousiana home was the same as when she had left. The dining room table was half coved in Monica's school work and the other half was set for two. Monica left go of her hand to add another place at the table for her. Maria hovered by the stairs closely watching her.

"So, how long have I been gone?" Carol asked as she gently started to look through Monica's drawing that were mixed in with her school work.

"You don't know?"

"It's kind of difficult to tell time in space without a day night cycle." It wasn't like Carol couldn't have found out how long she had been away. The ship's computer could have easily calculated it, but she didn't want to know. She couldn't handle the thoughts that came with knowing. She had a job to do, and she wouldn't even be here if Soren hadn't practically shoved her out.

"It sounds like you need a watch." Carol chuckled at the simple solution. "But you've been gone just under five months." Carol could hear the tightness and the stress in Maria's voice.

"I'm sorry, I should have come back sooner." Carol whispered.

"You're damn right. That little girl has been bugging me nonstop over when you would be back." Maria paused, "But you had a job to do, so I can't fault you for that." She finished softly.

"You never could stay mad at me for too long." Maria's eyes flickered to Carol's, the questioning look returned. Maria started to open her mouth to say something but was interrupted by Monica returning with a plate, cup and some silverware and babbling on about something that had happened at school recently.

"Do you have something I can change into for dinner? I've been pretty much stuck in this suit for the last few days and luggage doesn't really work at light speed." 

"Yeah, I have a box of some of your old clothes in the attic." Maria stated before heading up the nearby flight of stairs.

"Auntie Carol come look at this picture of Goose I drew for art class!" Monica said as she picked up a drawing from the pile of papers on the dinning room table.

She sat with Monica while they went through her drawings and she told Monica of some of the different planets she had visited. 

"There was this planet I visited where the atmosphere was fifteen percent helium. You should have heard Yon-Rogg try to be intimating with high pitch voice." Carol laughed at the memory but her laughter died off quickly as she remembered all that had happened with Yon-Rogg. 

Carol was grateful that Maria chose to head down the stairs before Monica could ask her any questions about Yon-Rogg. 

"It's not much, your mother took most of your things when you, uh, disappeared. These are the things that you, uh, forgot at my place." Maria kept glancing between Monica and her as she spoke. 

She handed Carol the cardboard box that had her old clothes in it. Carol picked up a shirt out of the box and held it up in front of her. It was her Empire Strikes Back t-shirt that she had bought with Maria. 

"Go on shorty get changed and then join us for dinner."

"Judge me by my size, do you?" Carol quoted at Maria and Maria paused mid step at her words and gave her a pained and pleading look. Carol glanced at Monica who was now going through the box of clothes and mouthed 'Later' at Maria. Maria nodded at her and took a deep breath before continuing into the kitchen. 

Carol quickly changed into her old clothes, only briefly glancing in the mirror at the scars she had gotten over the years. Her finger briefly brush the scar on her stomach and she winced at the fresh memory. Talos was right regaining her memories was not a gentle process. The memories we still fresh in her brain and she had been slowly remembering more and more over time. 

She took one last look at herself in the mirror before rejoining _her family_. Carol smiled at the thought, she was with her family again.

Carol wasn't sure she ever stopped smiling during dinner, listening to Monica talk about school and her friends and Maria throw in a comment every once in a while. She was currently helping Maria clean up while Monica sat at the dinning room table working on her home work.

Carol was bringing in the last of the dishes when she saw Maria leaning on the counter watching her. As she set the plates down Maria said in a soft voice "You remember." It was as much a question as it was a statement.

"Yes," she said matching Maria volume "but I don't remember everything." 

"What do you remember?" Maria said in a tight voice as she hopped up onto the counter next to Carol.

"Not enough, not nearly enough." Carol stared at the dirty dishes in front of her instead of at Maria.

"Tell me." The pleading sound in Maria's voice broke Carol from the inside out. Carol caved at looked at Maria, she could see the hope in her eyes as well as the fear in them.

"It's like what ever they did to my brain shattered my memories, and now I'm stuck with the fragments and a patchwork of memories that I can barely make sense of. It's like building a puzzle without know what the picture is supposed to be and with half the pieces."

"Talos has a machine that can access memories. That's how I came to Earth in the first place. He used it to try and find Dr. Lawson and her light speed engine. I asked him to use it again to try and get it all back. It started with my most important memories. " Carol heard Maria release a shakey breath at her words. "It's a slow process, but it's started."

"What do you remember?" Carol could see the tear start to escape down Maria's cheeks as she spoke. Carol reached up and cupped the taller womans cheek and Maria gripped her forearm as Carol started to pull away, keeping her in place.

"I remember getting the scar on my finger from when you told me you were pregnant. I remember the road trip we went on. I remember you comforting me after finding our my father had died, who I also regrettably remember." Maria let out a strained laugh and tightened her grip on Carol's forearm. Carol gave a small smile at the sight.

"I remember meeting you at Pancho's and you giving me my call sign and you trying to regain your pinball title, and failing at that."

"You were always way too good at that game." Carol chucked at her words.

"I remember that disgusting mens bathroom, and being way to drunk for our first kiss. But it's not enough, I want to remember more. I want to remember the little thinks, like our first fight, Monica's first day of school," Carol paused for a moment, looking a Maria with a smirk she knew all too well, "you being jealous of Dr. Lawson." Maria playfully hit her shoulder.

"Come here you idiot." Maria said with a roll of her eyes as she grabbed the collar of Carol's shirt with her free hand, pulling her into a tender kiss.

' _Home, this is what home feels like._ ' Carol thought as she hastily returned it.

-

"How long?" Maria said softly after breaking their kiss for oxygen. She rested their foreheads together, her hand still gripping Carol's shirt collar and arm. Not wanting to open her eyes or let go in case if she did Carol would be gone and she would wake from the dream.

She knew Carol couldn't stay on Earth for to long. The call of space travel and the need to help people was too strong in her. It's what caused Maria to lose her in the first place and it terrified her, but she knew there was no stopping her.

"Two weeks minimum." Carol's voice was tight, she didn't want to think about leaving. Maria felt a small smirk appear on Carol's lips before she continued.

"Soren had to fight to get me even that long."

Maria's brow furrowed at her words. She leaned back just enough to look her in the eyes.

"Talos wanted you to stay that much?"

"Uh, er, uh, no." Carol said avoiding Maria's piercing stare.

"She, uh, fought me. To get me to stay that long." Carol didn't need to be looking at Maria to see the shocked and slightly angry face she was giving her. 

"I," Carol exhaled slowly before continuing, "I was scared that you didn't want me to come back. I didn't know if you would want me in your lifes if I wasn't the same Carol that you remember."

"Carol, honey." Maria said releasing Carol's arm and bringing her hand up to her cheek, turning her to looked her in the eye.

"I will always want you in my life and _our_ daughters life. No matter how much you've changed you are still, and will always be, my Carol, fire fists and all."

"Wow, I forgot how much of a sap you are." Carol's voice was broken and tight as she feigned the sarcasm in her words and trying, and failing, to hold back tears.

"Oh yeah, nothing has changed." Carol froze at the sound of Monica's voice from the dining room. 

"Could you at least try to keep the love confessions a little quieter next time? Calculus is already hard enough as is." 

' _Calculus?_ ' Carol mouthed to Maria who was still blushing at being caught by their daughter and trying to hold back laughter. 

"Oh yeah, Monica is kinda a super genius by the way." Maria explained softly after she got her quiet laughter under control. 

"She gets it all from her mom." Carol whispered back.

"Moms, you're not getting out of this so easily." Maria corrected.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Carol beamed at her before leaning back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my favorite chapter to write out of both parts so far. The Vers section really kicked my ass and the ending was rewritten several times. It is partly what I had planned for what was supposed to be the 8th and final chapter to fragmentation, but I decided to do more and then this fic happened.
> 
> Also HORSE THOR (Aka Beta Ray Bill)


	4. First Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm picturing Grok as a species like Korg from Thor Ragnarok (a little bulkier and a slightly darker shade) and Kar-En as the same species as Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy.
> 
> * **I added a little section to the previous chapter's Captain Marvel section** * It's not story important but it cute.

Vers lie awake on the top bunk of one of the four bunk beds that lined her barracks staring at the ceiling. Each of her teammates had already claimed all the bottom bunks, except for Grock who had a top bunk and she wasn't going to risk death by landslide in the middle of the night. Primus just glared at her when she glanced at the top bunk of his bed and Kar-en looked like she wanted to eat her (not in the fun way) or dissect her, or both, so the only safe option was to bunk with Galen-Kor. 

Vers had found out not to long after awaking on Hala that she didn't need much sleep, maybe a full eight hours every few days or a few hours every night. Every time she fell asleep no matter how long she saw _her_. The woman who had been dreaming of every time she slept. She was starting to lose her mind over it. It wasn't like she could get that much sleep anyways with Grok causing an earthquake with every snore.

After what seemed to be hours of staring at the ceiling, Vers was starting to get restless. She slowly crept down the railing of the sturdy bunk bed, thankful that it didn't creak or shift too much. It was unlikely that the small amount of noise she was making would wake anyone up over Grok's snoring, but she didn't want to take the risk. She was glad that the regulation sleep clothes was just a special t-shirt and pants and that she didn't need to change. She grabbed her shoes and slowly made her way to the heavy door. 

Vers pushed on it lightly and it opened part of the way without a sound and Vers squeezed through the opening, shutting the door behind her. She slipped her shoes on and carefully made her way down the barracks hall. 

She had no idea where she was going, she was just wondering. Vers let her mind wander has her feet moved. She thought about her new team, they were an odd bunch.

Primus had felt strict and cold, but loyal to his team. Vers hoped in time that she might be included in that unwavering loyalty. The others seemed to look to him as the final say in all of their decisions.

Galen-Kor had been quiet and reserved. She spoke with confidence when she did. Only making small gesture of excitement or disappointment as she eagerly watched the fight.

Grock was rough on the outside but a big softie on the inside. He was the loudest of them as he cheered on the champion from the fight and almost smashed the table when Beta Ray Bill won. When the fight was over he sat next to Vers and started to tell her of his home planet.

Kar-En freaked Vers out a little bit. She had eyed the device on Vers neck throughout the fight, all while fiddling with what seemed to be a twelve sided puzzle with sliding parts and multiple colors.

Vers was so lost in thought that she almost ran into someone.

"Wow, sorry I wasn't," Vers's voice faded as she saw Galen-Kor standing right in front of her, "looking where I was going?" Vers finished her words dripping with confusion.

"But how?" Vers looked at Galen then behind herself at the empty hallway behind her. "Galen-Kor you were asleep when I left."

"This hallway has two ends and you left like half an hour ago, not as stealthily as you might think, and please call me Galen." Vers looked away as she nodded.

"Why are you up?" Galen continued. 

"Can't sleep." Vers answered vaguely, she couldn't fully explain the reasoning behind why without revealing her powers. 

"My first few days here I couldn't catch a wink of sleep, mainly because of Grok's snoring, but nerves as well." Vers chuckled lightly. Galen looked over Vers quickly. 

"Follow me." She said as she was already headed past Vers. 

"Uh, sure." Vers said as she quickly turned to follow her. 

Vers almost had to run to catch up to the Kree. She followed her up three flights of stairs and out a door at the top of the stairwell. When she opened the door she found Galen standing in the middle of the roof staring up at the night sky.

"I used to come up here when I felt scared or tired. To remind me that the universe is bigger than just me, that there are families out there that need to be protected."

Vers made her way to stand next to the Kree woman. She too looked up at the night sky, watching hover vehicles fly past the barely visible stars.

"I lost my partner and daughter to the Skrulls, there was an attack on our colony. You can't even see the light of the star that our world revolved around from here. But I like to come up here and remember them and remember why I'm here and what I'm fighting for. We didn't even know what was happening when it all started. How can you fight an enemy that looks like you? I came here seeking vengeance, to become an avenger of those that I and others have lost." 

Vers felt almost light headed at the word ' _avenger_ '. It was the same feeling that she had when a memory almost broke through, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"We all have stories like mine, some are more tame and some are even worse, but we all have them. We all have a reason to fight. I wonder what's yours?" Galen left Vers on the barracks rooftop to contemplate her story.

Vers didn't know why but Galen's story hit home for her. Before now she had just been doing what was thrust upon her, doing what she was told. But now her mind was set, this is where she was needed.

Galen stopped a level before her teams floor and stopped and listened. Once she was certain she didn't hear anyone approaching she pulled out a small communicator.

' _Task successful, she suspects nothing._ '

' _Excellent work, await further instructions._ '

' _Yes Commander._ '

\---

"Carol!" Maria said while laughing at her best friend's antics. Carol was currently trying to get back to her Mustang after a night of casual drinking and not so casual pinball and karaoke. Which was now being guarded by one very pissed off goose. 

"Carol, let's just take my car. You can stay the night with me and we can come back tomorrow and get your car." Maria tried being reasonable with her.

"No! This is about principle, if I let this overweight chicken get away with it now, he'll just tell all his friends and the next time there will be even more geese." Carol said while not breaking eye contact with the bird that was perched on top of her car's roof. 

"If you shit on my car I'll be eating goose as a midnight snack!" Carol threatened the bird. 

Maria was glad that Pancho's was almost closed and all their friends and people they had to like because they worked with them, had already left, leaving just Maria to witness the showdown. Carol already had a few scratches and bite marks from the angry goose.

"I'm pretty sure they're an endangered species." Maria called out as Carol tried to swat at the bird who was managing to evade all her attempts to grab it and managed to make a few nips at her hand and arm.

"If it isn't, it will be soon." The goose honked at her has Carol missed again.

"You hear that! He's laughing at me." Maria couldn't hold it together any longer and bust out laughing at the sight. 

Carol crouched low, trying to get more power before lunging for the bird again. She managed to grab hold of one of its feathers. The goose honked and flapped its wings in panic and pain as the feather was plucked. Carol landed on her feet and looked triumphantly at the feather in her hand. 

"Carol duck!" Maria shouted as she saw the goose start to run across the car roof, its wings flapping, heading straight for Carol.

"No, it's a goose." Carol said with a smart ass smirk and Maria gave her a pointed look.

Carol looked over and saw the goose charging right at her, she instinctively ducked narrowly missing being hit by the goose. She lost her balance as she ducked and wound up flat on her back watching the goose circle around and land back onto her car roof.

"You got beat by a bird, a _bird_." Maria laughed.

"Shut up." Carol said dusting off her leather jacket and glaring at the goose and then at Maria. 

"Come on bird brain get in, we'll come back tomorrow and see if your buddy over there has found a new home." Maria said walking over to her Camero. 

"Fine but I'm driving." Carol said while jogging to catch up.

"Like hell you are. You just got your ass handed to you by an overgrown chicken and I know how you drive little Miss. Short cut." 

"You're not going to drop the goose thing any time soon are you?" Carol questioned as she opened the passager side door.

"No." Maria said casually as she started her muscle car. Carol groans loudly at her words, but Maria can hear the smile behind it.

Maria is starting to yawn as they reach her apartment complex. She opens her mouth to say something to Carol but stops when she see Carol passed out, her head resting against the window. 

"That explains why she was so quiet." Maria whispered to herself. She took a moment to take Carol in.

She looked peaceful and relaxed while asleep, a stark contrast to her bustling energetic self that Maria was starting to know all too well. They had grown close fast after their meeting at Pancho's, becoming almost inseparable on base. 

"God you're cute." Maria said softly when Carol adjusted slightly in her sleep. 

"All right Danvers, time to get up." Maria said as she started to poke at Carol's side, she had found out not too long ago that she was incredibly ticklish there. 

"Five more minutes." Carol grumbled half asleep. 

"Come on Danvers, I'm not carrying your ass up two flights of stairs." Maria poked at Carol's side again, who absently swatted at her.

"You should try." Carol still looked like she was sleeping but Maria could see the hint of a smile on her face.

"You know I talked with one of my old buddies from training camp." Carol cracked an eye open at that.

"Yeah, we were talking and I mentioned you and he said he remembered you." Carol sat upright, fully awake and intrigued in where Maria was going with this story.

"He said that you were the first at everything, first out of bed, first in line at the chow hall, first in class."

"Not everything, stupid ropes." Carol grumbled.

"Well now your first in something else." Carol gave her a questioning look. 

"First to get your ass kicked by a goose."

"That's a low blow Rambeau."

"Not as low as you are shortstop."

"First the goose and now short jokes and you're like two inches taller than me."

"I got more inches on you than that baby, they're just where it counts." Maria quoted one of the many guys that thought that line would work on them. Carol just rolled her eyes at her but couldn't stop the smile on her face. 

"Come on," Carol said as she got out of the Camaro, "I've got to reclaim my car tomorrow morning." 

Maria tried, she really did, to not check out her best friend as she got out of the car, but like all the guys at the bar who tried to hit on them, she failed. 

"Yeah, and I got to drive your ass back to get it because you lost it too a goose!" Maria said while laughing as she got out of her car. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh it up. The next time you do something stupid I'll be there to mock you too."

"So you admit it was stupid." Carol stuck her tongue out at Maria. 

They kept taunting each other as they made their way up to Maria's apartment. Maria suspected she might get a note from her more stuck up neighbors about being more considerate to other people. 

Maria unlocked her door and lead Carol into her small apartment. It was pretty large for what you could make on a pilots salary, even a woman's. 

"Thanks for letting me crash on your couch by the way." Carol said as she continued to look around the apartment. 

"Oh, god you do not want to sleep on that thing. I did that once accidentally while watching TV and had a crick in my back for a week. Just sleep in the bed next to me." Carol froze at her words and gave her a sideways glance.

"Uh, no the couch is fine." Carol insisted.

"I am not going to listen to you bitch about it for the next week, so suck it up and sleep in the bed." Carol opened her mouth to start to protest but Maria just glared at her and she shut it. 

"Now that that's settled I'll go get you some clothes to sleep in, 'cus you smell like cheep beer and sweat." 

"You say the sweetest things." 

"You know it sugar." Maria said with a wink before heading off to get Carol some clothes. 

Carol was cursing that goose mentally, if it had chosen any other car to claim she would be home asleep, not in her best friend/crush's house about to sleep in the same bed. Carol had had enough sleep overs in high school that this was not going to end up well. 

Maria returned a few minuets later holding sleep pants and an old air force t-shirt in front of her with a first aid kit on top of it. 

"You should take care of those scrapes before they become infected or you get bird flu." Maria said handing her the pile. 

"Bathroom is down the hall the second door on the right, there is a spare toothbrush in one of the drawers under the sink. the bedroom is right across from it when you're finished." 

"Great, uh thanks." Carol said as she took the clothes and first aid kit from her. 

Carol awkwardly made her way down the short hallway to the door Maria had just mentioned. She quickly changed out of her Guns 'n Roses t-shirt and jeans and into the sleep clothes Maria had let her borrow. Carol tried not to think about how the shirt was one size too big for her and smelled like Maria, like engine grease and lavender, or how the sleep pants brushed the floor.

Carol quickly brushed her teeth before starting on her battle scars. She opened up the first aid kit and opened one of the alcohol wipes. She swore at the first contact with one of the scrapes on her forearm. There were only a few scrapes that actually bled and thankfully they were all shallow. 

Carol winced at the worst cut she had gotten, not from pain but from where it was located. It was right on the scar she had gotten when her father drunkenly broke her arm. She scowled at the scar in the mirror, but it didn't last long because there was a knock at the bathroom door.

"Carol are you done yet? I got to pee." Maria called out. 

Carol broke her gaze with the mirror and started to collect her things and pack up the first aid kit leaving it on the bathroom sink. She took a deep breath and put on her fake smile. She had perfected that smile in high school and boot camp, when she had to smile and take whatever crap was thrown at her. She was glad that she had never needed it when she was with Maria. 

Carol opened the door and saw Maria leaning on the wall opposite the bathroom. She was already changed into flannel sleep shorts and a tank top. The fake smile shifted slowly in her face as she took Maria in, to one of awe and wonder. 

' _Even in that she still looks stunning._ ' Carol thought to herself. If it had been appropriate Carol would had started to bang her head against the wall. 

"You okay?" Maria questioned as her brow furrowed and her eyes darted across Carol's face as a light blush spread across her face. Carol quickly replaced the fake smile and shoved down the feelings that had started to bubble up. 

"A little banged up." Carol stated as casually as she could manage as she showed off the scrapes on her left arm, purposely hiding the scar on her right with her dirty clothes.

"But other than that, just peachy." Maria gave her a slightly skeptical look and glanced at her other arm for a moment before shaking the look off.

"Well if that's the case, the bedroom is right there," Maria pointed over her shoulder at an open door behind her, "and I need to pee, so get out the way shorty." Carol smirked and half heartedly rolled her eyes as she moved out of the bathroom door frame, brushing past Maria on her way out.

"Oh!" Maria exclaimed and Carol froze in the bedroom doorway and looked back at Maria.

"By the way I sleep on the left side of the bed." Maria finished with a wink before shutting the bathroom door. Carol sighed as she tried to force down the blush that threatened to blossom onto her cheeks.

Carol sighed again as she looked at the queen size mattress. It could fit two people, but not with enough space that they could sleep without bothering one another or for Carol to not wake up wrapped around the other woman. It had been an awkward sleepover in high school to find out that she is a massive cuddler in her sleep.

She debated for a moment if the couch was going to be worth it in the long run, she could live with a sore back for a few days, but the embarrassment and possible loss of friendship with Maria was something she couldn't bear. But she could never say no to Maria, so she tossed her clothes onto the floor and climbed into the right side of the bed. Carol lie as close to the edge of the bed as she dared to without falling off. She moved her right arm behind her head when she heard the toilet flush.

"Damn Danvers, I don't bite." Maria chastised when she saw how close Carol was to the edge.

"Well not that much." Carol thought she heard Maria say under her breath.

Maria settled on to her normal spot and there was still a good foot and a half between her and Carol.

"Okay, get you ass on the bed. I don't want to wake up to the sound of you falling off in the middle of the night."

"Yeah I wouldn't want to interrupt your much needed beauty sleep." Carol joked as she shuffled slightly closer.

"You're one to talk, you just need sleep in general so you can grow those extra couple of inches so you're feet don't swing in the chairs at meetings." Carol laughed loudly, she hadn't thought that Maria had noticed that. Maria turned onto her side, propping her head up with her hand to look at Carol.

"So you gonna show me the cut you're hiding?" Maria saw the twitch in her best friends eyes and knew she was right.

"I..." Carol started.

"What too proud to acknowledge that you got beat up by a goose?" Maria hoped the joke would relax Carol a bit. Carol sighed and removed her arm from behind her head, showing her arm to Maria.

"That's it? That's not too bad, I thought I was going to have to take you to get stitches. So why were you trying to hide it." 

"Sensitive topic, I didn't want your pity, it reminds me of my dad, all of the above or take your pick."

"Well as it happens I have top secret security clearance. So, I know how to keep a secret." 

' _Me too, but at least this one won't ruin either of our lives and/or careers_.' Carol thought to herself. 

"It wasn't necessarily the scrape I wanted to hide, but the scar."

"Carol, I've seen that scar before and a lot of your other scars. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but why and try and hide it now."

"It's not that I meant to hide it from you, it just brought up some old memories that I would rather forget. I am sorry that I did try and hide it from you. I just, didn't want your pity or how you see me to change because it's not a fun or pretty story."

"Carol, we all have ugly stories, it's what makes us who we are, it's what makes us human. Your story is yours to tell or not, but if you ever decide to share it, it will not change how I think of you or see you."

Carol didn't respond, she didn't know how to. Everytime she had trusted someone with the story of what happened, the look of pity they gave her turned her stomach. She didn't want to see that look on Maria's face, but Carol should have know that Maria wouldn't do that to her. Maria was different, special, entirely something else.

"Get some rest Danvers, you're going to need it if that goose hasn't already make your Mustang its nest." Maria joked as she turned off the lamp on her nightstand. Carol half heartedly swatted at her, but shuffled slightly closer to her as she let her mind slowly drift off to sleep.

Carol woke up a few hours later with a strange pressure on her body. She panicked slightly at the unfamiliar surroundings and sensation, but quickly calmed when she remembered where she was.

Her attention was returned to the unfamiliar pressure as it shifted slightly. Carol looked down at her body in the low light of the early morning to see Maria cuddling up to her. She felt an unfamiliar warmth blossom in her chest at the sight. Her eyes grew heavy again and she wrapped an arm around the sleeping Maria pulling her slightly closer and fell back asleep with a smile on her face.

\---

Her first night on Earth since she started to unlock her memories, her first night since remembering who Maria truly was to her. Was not one of passion, no there would be time for that later, tonight was about finally being home. 

Her first night of sleeping under the same roof as her family was a joyous occasion for them all, but there were things that Carol's mind would not let her escape even surrounded by those she loved.

Carol saw flashes of her memories as her slept. They were almost never whole memories, just fragments that her subconscious will piece together over time. Some nights were better than others. Some nights were filled with happy memories of her life which mainly included Maria and Monica, but more often than not they were worse. Tonight was one of those nights. 

Carol dreamed of blaster fire and photon blasts, and of fire and ash. She could smell the charred flesh of Kree and Skrull alike. She could hear the screams of terror and battle cries mixing together as different memories flashed by. 

She had hoped before falling asleep next to Maria that she wouldn't dream or to at least to have pleasant dreams, but like always you should never trust the universe to give you what you want.

Carol awoke after a violent and vicious memory, not of Skrulls or Kree or even humans. But of the aftermath of a warlord or conqueror or monster who had wiped out half of the population of a planet. 

She was Vers in the memory, Yon-Rogg and her team walked by her side. She was Vers, but this memory was new to her. Carol remember every planet she visited during her time as Vers, but this was not one of them.

Vers and her team walked along a wide street in the heart of the city. On one half of the street was a mass of screaming and crying people who were being held back by soldiers. On the other were soldiers slowly making their way through a mass of dead bodies, firing baster shots into the fresh corpses. Vers had tears falling down her face as she looked on at the gruesome sight before her. She turned to Yon-Rogg to ask what happened here and why didn't we stop it, but she was cut off by a large purple skinned man in gilded armor approached them.

"Commander Rogg, what a pleasure it is to see you again." The purple man said loudly as he approached their team. 

"I see you wasted no time with the information we sent you." Vers looked in horror at her friend and leader. 

"I expect the Skrull infestation here has been eliminated along with the others." Yon-Rogg paid her no attention as he continued.

"Yes, and now this world can have the balance it needs to become better than it once was." She felt her skin crawl at the purple man's words. Then it clicked in her mind, what had truly happened here.

Vers pushed past Min-Erva and Att-Lass and grabbed Yon-Rogg by the collar of his suit, lifting him off the ground. "We **helped** cause this! We **helped** him slaughter _billions_!" Vers exclaimed as tears continued to stream down her face as she continued to walk forward while still lifting Yon-Rogg. Smashing him into the side of a still burning building cracking the wall behind him. 

"I told the Supreme Intelligence that you weren't ready for this." Yon-Rogg choked out.

"You're still too weak for this." His voice was still weak but it dripped with venom.

Vers suddenly felt her strength start to leave her body and dull ache in her neck that got stronger and stronger. She faintly noted that her fists darkened, she hadn't even noticed that they were glowing in the first place. Vers released him and staggered back, her vision was starting to fade at the edges as she grasped at the device on her neck. The next thing she knew she was flat on her back staring up at Yon-Rogg and Min-Erva.

"You could have done that sooner." Yon-Rogg's voice was strained slightly as he spoke to Min-Erva.

"Now where would the fun in that be?" Min-Erva pouted sarcastically while waving a small remote. She crouched down to look Vers in the eye before speaking.

"We are going to have to take this memory from you." Min-Erva moved a strand of hair from Vers face. Vers flinched slightly at the contact. "Just like we took your original ones and _so many others_ " Vers's faded into unconsciousness.

Carol sat up straight in the bed she shared with Maria, panting out of breath from the nightmare that was her memories. She could feel the energy start to flow through her body and a hand on her shoulder. She quickly got out of bed before she started to burn the sheets, as she had done several times before, or even worse Maria.

"Carol." Maria said softly but forcefully as she followed her out of the bed as well.

"Carol, honey, it was just a nightmare." Maria said as she reached out to put a hand on Carol's shoulder who had her back pressed against one of the walls of the bedroom, trying to control her breathing. Carol flinched away from her hand and she paused at her reaction and slowly withdrew it. She could feel the heat radiation off Carol.

She could see the silent tears evaporating off the face of the woman she still loved and it broke her heart to see her this way. Terrified and huddled in a corner like a scared animal. Maria sat down slowly and as carefully and as close as she could without burning herself.

"Do you remember Monica's first birthday?" Maria asked softly and Carol didn't respond.

"Well you got me this necklace." Maria tugged lightly on the necklace around her neck that said ' _Monica_ ' and smiled fondly at it.

"You said it was so I could keep her close to me even when I was soring high above the clouds. I knew in that moment that you were going to be in my heart forever, even if you weren't in my life forever, and that I wouldn't want it any other way." Maria could see Carols breathing slow as she talked. By the end of her story Carol was looking at her.

She couldn't feel the intense heat anymore and slowly reached her hand out again, Carol still gave a small flinch that made her hesitate for a moment before continuing. She placed her hand on Carol's still warm cheek, she could still feel the streaks of wetness that her tears had left.

"God I missed you." Carol managed to croak out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maria asked softly. Carol stayed silent for a long time while Maria stayed and waited. Carol took a deep breath before starting, her voice was soft and raw but grew stronger as she spoke.

____

"My memories sometimes return in the form of dreams. This one wasn't of my life before. It was from my time at Starforce, but it was new."

____

"I thought they only took your memories of Earth?"

____

"So did I." Carol said with a sad smile.

____

"We were on this planet and this guy named Thanos, big purple dude, had just wiped out half the population. We we standing on a street and one side there were soldiers holding people back and on the other they were going through the still smoldering corpses to make sure they were dead. I thought were there to stop it or find who ever committed this atrocity, but then he just waltzes right up and starts talking to Yon-Rogg" Maria scowls at the mention of Yon-Rogg.

____

"Turns out that the Supreme Intelligence worked with the guy to make sure all of the Skrulls on the planet were killed when he killed half of everyone. They knew it was going to happen, _we helped_ it happen, and they took the memory from me when I said it was wrong." Vers let out a shaky breath as tears started to fall again.

____

"What else did they take from me? What other horrible acts have I seen?" Maria pulled her into a tight hug at the fear and terror in her words.

____

"That wasn't you, that was them. You had no part in it, you tried to stop it." Maria's words were slightly muffled by Carol's shoulder.

____

"I'm sorry I woke you." Carol said after a while, pulling away slightly but still clinging to Maria.

____

"You have nothing to be sorry for, besides I think I owe you for getting up and feeding Monica in the middle of the night." Carol's face fell slightly.

____

"I wish I remembered doing that. I wish I remembered more, well more of you and Monica and not alien genocides." 

____

"And you will, you said this process takes time. So let it, don't rush it. I just got you back I don't want to lose you again over your impatience."

____

"You know what else I remembered?" Carol had a small smirk on her face but the haunted looked remained in her eyes.

____

"What?" Maria said hesitantly.

____

"The goose."

____

"The cat? Seriously! That's what you're bringing up now of all times.

____

"No not Goose, the _goose_ , the car goose."

____

"Oh my god I forgot about that!" Maria said while laughing. 

____

"Yeah that was the first time I got you to go home with me." Maria said cheekily and Carol lightly smacked her arm with a mildly offended look on her face.

____

"Yeah, that was a mistake 'cause you pretty much never left after that." Carol smacked her arm slightly harder this time. 

____

"Wow, if this is the treatment I get maybe I should have taken that Asgardian up on her offer of a drinking contest." Maria returned the faked offended look but it was quickly replaced with one of confusion.

__"Asgardian?" Maria questioned._ _

__"As in Asgard? Like the Norse myths!" Carol gave her an excited nod._ _

__"Yeah, I met her on this planet called Sakaar where they hold these awesome fighting tournaments that are broadcast throughout the universe." Carol had a look of wonder in her eye that Maria had seen many times before whenever Carol looked at the stars._ _

__"And you didn't take her up on her offer?" Maria knew that she was treading on a subject that she might not enjoy hearing, but she needed to know._ _

__"No." Carol said casually._ _

__"Alchohol doesn't seem to affect me anymore. Which sucks because it means I'll always be the designated driver from now on. Which isn't too bad, but I really enjoyed getting drunk with you." Carol said wistfully._ _

__"And you never took anyone up on their _offers_?"_ _

__"Oh yeah, lots of times!" Maria's face fell slightly at her words._ _

"Yeah, social drinking on Hala was very big. I'm surprised that there aren't more alcoholics, but that's probably due to their immune system and advanced medicine." Maria chuckled softly at Carol's misinterpretation.

"Carol, I wasn't talking about drinking." Maria said with a pointed look. 

"Then what were you..." Carol's words trailed off as her brain put the peices together.

"Oh." She said softly as she blushed furiously and looked away from Maria.

"No."

"Really? No one?" 

"There were offers, but they never felt right. I think my brain may have forgotten you, but my heart never did." Maria blinked away tears at her words. 

"Come here you sap." She managed to say and pulled Carol in for a passionate kiss. 

It felt like forever and seconds when they finally broke their kiss, resting their foreheads together.

"Come on, let go to bed." Maria said still slightly breathless. She felt Carol's eyebrows raise at the possible interpretation of her words.

"Not like that you dork, well not tonight at least. I have work in the morning and Monica has school. Just because you show back up into our lives dosen't mean that they will change around you."

"I'm just glad to be in them again." Carol said as she bumped their noses together and she felt Maria smile at her before leaning in for another kiss.

"Come on Duck Hunt, back to bed." Maria said with a grin as she stood, offering a hand to Carol. She accepted the hand with a roll of her eyes and stood.

And for the second time that night she fell asleep in the arms of the woman she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moral of this story _**don't fuck with geese**_.
> 
> Sorry for the delay, life happened.
> 
> Also Happy Pride Month!


	5. Hate to watch you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter changed titles and stories so much, but I'm finally happy on how it turned out.

"I just," Vers paused to let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't understand why I can't go with them. I hate to watch them go without me."

Vers's squad had been sent out on a training mission two days ago. She had been so excited when she found out about the mission, and was still angry about not being able to join her team. 

"You may be strong and smart, but you lack discipline and training." Hoardak the training grounds weapons master had become a kind of mentor to her in recent days. 

Vers had been surprised when Yon-Rogg told her that she would be receiving one-on-one weapons training when she first got here. She had assumed that she would be training to use her powers, but Yon-Rogg had insisted that her powers remain a secret from everyone. 

"Your powers are unique and powerful, but before you can learn to control them you need to learn how to control yourself and how to fight without them." Yon-Rogg had lectured her about the importance of fighting hand to hand and being able to use a multitude of weapons, but Vers had zoned out a third of the way in. 

"Focus!" The Kree weapon master scolded as he noticed her concentration wavering. 

Hoardak was currently training her to use the standard issue energy pistol. The gun felt odd in her hand when she first picked it up, the feeling tugged on a memory but not hard enough to remember it. 

"Widen your stance." Hoardak nudged her feet and adjusted her shoulders so she was standing properly. 

"This gun has two settings. The low power is the stun setting and will take down anything smaller than a Korlaian. The high power setting is for damage and should only be used if absolutely necessary. You do not want that blood on your hands." The seriousness in the weapons master's voice made Vers pause for a moment and reevaluate him.

Hoardak was not a friendly looking man. The blue skinned Kree was a foot taller than her and build like Grock. He spoke with conviction and experience. Like he everything he taught he learned the hard way, which judging by the number of visible scars was not an unlikely scenario. But Vers knew better than to let appearances effect how she thought of someone.

Hoardak had shown her through their private training sessions that he was nothing but a big teddy bear on the inside. He had to look tough when teaching large numbers of recruits at the same time, but was gentler and more considerate in private. 

"Now aim down the sights and line up the green dot with the back sight and where you want to fire at. Then squeeze the trigger, don't pull, exhale as you do. Let it surprise you. There won't be much recoil so it shouldn't be too difficult to hit the target if you do it right."

Vers followed his instructions and raised the pistol, leveling it with the target down range. She could see the concentric rings of the target and took aim at the center. She took a moment to steady herself before exhaling slowly as she squeezed the trigger. 

Hoardak let out a low whistle as he looked down range at the target. "Dead center on your first shot, I don't know who you were before, but you definitely had some sort of weapons training."

"Maybe I got lucky." Vers said trying to brush off the compliment. It frustrated her to think about who she was before she came to Hala. There were times that the memories were so close, but would slip away before she could reach them. 

"Vers, drop it!" Hoardak yelled in panic and Vers looked at the pistol still in her grip. There was energy surrounding her hands and starting to melt the hardened metal and she dropped the weapon at once. 

Vers started to panic, she wasn't supposed to let anyone know about her powers. 

"Yon-Rogg should have mentioned how easily distracted you can become. I knew your powers were strong if the Supreme Intelligence was the one to give them to you, but I never expected that." Hoardak sounded impressed as he crouched down to examine the melted gun, and Vers let out a small sigh of relief.

"Any longer you would have busted the battery cell and then there would have been a _much_ bigger mess to clean up." 

"Well," he said as he stood up, "if you had we wouldn't be the ones to clean it up." Vers chuckled lightly. 

"Well at least now we know you can shoot, but how good are you at melee weapons?" 

Vers ended up melting two knives, a sword, a bow staff, and a gravity gauntlet before Hoardak gave up and sent her back to her barracks before mumbling something about calling Po-Jo for tougher weapons.

\---

"Carol, I know you. You're either going to do something stupid and get kicked out while I'm gone or throw yourself into work and not eat." Carol scoffed at her bestfriend trying to deny it, but she knew Maria, like always, was right.

Maria had planned this visit to her parents house in Louisiana months ago and Carol was fine with it. She could survive without her for a week. She wanted this opportunity away from Maria to get her head on straight and finally get this crush out of her head. ' _Out of sight, out of mind_ ' she kept telling herself as the days grew close and closer to it.

"I will not. I'm going to be just fine without you." 

"Really?" Maria said skeptically with a raise of her eyebrows. "So what do you have planned? Anything special? Got a hot date or something." She pressed.

Carol winced internally, she hadn't been on a ' _date_ ' since she came to Pegasus. She had made the excuse of focusing on her career as her reason for not dating when Maria had brought up the subject the first time. She couldn't tell her the real reason, not without destroying their friendship or her career and she couldn't loose either. 

Maria had never really dated anyone since Carol had known her, but she had plenty of one night stands. It was the main reason that they drove separately to Pancho's and it killed her every time she drove away.

"Yeah, I got a hot date with my Mustang. Gonna give her some TLC, so she'll be ready to kick your sorry ass when you get back. Not that she needs it to beat your sorry excuse for a car." Carol tried to sound cool and casual, like she didn't just come up with it off the top of her head.

"Insult my car again and we'll see how well you fly with a black eye." Maria tried to look menacing as she spoke, but the grin on Carol's face told her it wasn't working. 

"I am going to miss you." Carol admitted quietly and Maria looked stunned for a moment before Carol continued. 

"I'm going to have to deal with the guys all on my own for an entire week, kill me now, and we are supposed to be getting those new recruits in a few days." Carol complained light heartedly, trying to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic.

"Girl, you have been handedly those douche bags from day one, you got this." 

"Yeah, you're right, but it's not going to be the same. Who is going to back up my awesome burns? Who is going to stop me from punching someone?" Carol pouted.

"A, you're burns aren't that good and I have to pick up the slack and B, me telling you not to punch someone has never stopped you before." 

"That hurts Rambeau, that hurts." Carol griped the front of her own shirt, grasping at a nonexistent wound. Before Maria could make another snarky comment the alarm on her watch went off. 

"You are the only person in existence that sets an alarm for when they have to leave." 

"It's a long ass drive and I don't want to have to stop and get some dirty and cheap motel room. I've seen your appartment and that is enough for me."

"Hey!" Carol took offense at her bestfriends insult, but thought about it for a moment and then shrugged in agreement. She didn't spend a lot of time at her small one bedroom apartment, so it was usually a mess.

"Alright get out of here before you insult me anymore." Carol turned Maria towards her car and started to push her towards it.

"Damn Danvers, if you wanted me gone this badly all you had to do was ask."

"If only it were that easy." Carol muttered under her breath.

"Let me do one last check to make sure I have everything." Carol rolled her eyes and let out a loud groan.

"You've already checked it three times, you have everything. Now get going or all of your stupid planning will have been for nothing." Maria had always been one to double check or even triple check her work. It made her a great mechanic, but an anxiety ridden mess everywhere else. 

"Alright, alright, I'm going." Maria conceded as she walked towards the old muscle car. She made it about half way before turning back to Carol.

"What if I, supposedly, told you that I didn't want to go?" 

"I wouldn't believe you." Carol said slightly confused at Maria's words as slowly walked forward. There was a flicker of hope in her chest that she tried desperately to snuff out.

"You've been planning this for months, and have been talking to you parents every day for the past month. They are thrilled that you are going down to visit them, even if it's only for a few days."

Every time Carol had visited Maria's apartment after work, Maria would be on the phone with her mother. Maria would pass the phone to Carol after she set the take out on the kitchen table or dropped her work bag off by the door. Carol had a better relationship with a woman she's never even met, that with her own mother. 

"Besides," Carol said with a shrug, "Mama Rambeau would come up here to kick your ass for flakeing out and then kick mine for not making you go." 

"Scared of an old lady Danvers?" Maria joked.

"The woman that raised you? Hell yeah." Maria laughed at her best friend, and Carol tried to memorize the sight. This was going to be the longest they've gone without seeing one another since meeting. 

"I'm going to miss you too." Maria admitted softly as she pulled the shorter woman into a tight hug, which Carol returns after a moment of hesitation. 

"I knew you cared." Carol joked but she could feel her heart flutter and her cheeks start to redden at her words, thankful that Maria couldn't see her face.

"You are making leaving easier by the minute." Maria said as she almost hesitantly pulls back.

"I hate to watch you go." The words tumble of of Carol's mouth before she even realized she said them. Carol looked completely stunned by her own admission but Maria didn't even look phased. 

"But I love to watch you leave." Maria said with a wink. 

Carol blinked at her words. It took her a quick moment to realize that Maria didn't take her words seriously. Maria had thought that she was quoting one of the many terrible and over used pick up lines that guys had told them over the past year or so. 

It had become an inside joke between them, using pick up lines on each other. Carol had accidentally started it after one night shortly after they had first met and had gotten drunk and had started to flirt with Maria. Maria had taken it as a joke and just laughed it off.

Carol let out a sigh of relief as Maria's watch alarm went off again, saving Carol from figuring out how to recover from her admission.

"Okay, time to get out of here, you are already twenty minutes behind your ridiculous schedule. Seriously who plans bathroom breaks?" Maria had planned her entire trip down to the minute and had been going over it constantly, so much so that even Carol had it memorized.

"Okay, okay, fine, I'm going." Maria slowly trudged towards her Camaro, dragging her feet slightly as she walked away from her bestfriend. 

"Don't forget to water my plants." Maria called out when she reached her car.

"I know." Carol yelled back, she knew Maria was stalling but couldn't figure out why.

"And _don't_ burn my appartment down."

"No promises, now get out of here!"

Maria held up her hands in surrender before getting into the driver's seat of the packed Camaro. 

Carol heard the engine purr to life and watched as Maria started to pull away. She watched the Camaro until it was a speck in the distance. There was a growing feeling in her heart as she watched Maria drive off. It felt like something being stretched, and it grew tighter and tighter the farther Maria away. 

"Come on Danvers, snap out of it." Carol scolded herself. "You have a week to get her out of your head. It's not going to happen." 

No matter how many times she tried to snuff out or smother the small spark of hope she had, a small ember always remained.

\---

Carol couldn't go back to sleep after the horrific nightmare she had. Watching Yon-Rogg talk so casually about slaughtering billions of innocent people to kill at most a few hundred Skrulls, was one of the worst things she had ever witnessed. Yon-Rogg A man she had thought of as a brother, that had trained her. But now she realized that he was shaping her into their perfect weapon. 

The one problem about using a person as a weapon is their emotions. The Kree had tried to teach her to control her emotions, so she could be a better weapon. Their plan failed and now they had to face the weapon they created, and she almost felt sorry for them. 

Carol looked over at the alarm clock sitting on Maria's nightstand and it read 5:13 A.M. Maria had mentioned that she would be up by six to get ready for work. 

She carefully reached over the sleeping woman, giving her a light kiss on the forehead as she turned off the alarm. Carol gingerly got out of the bed, making sure she didn't disturb Maria. Maria deserved to sleep in a few extra minutes this morning, especially after helping Carol with her nightmare. 

Carol slowly made her way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. She smiled at the high school level text books that were scattered across the dining room table. She entered the kitchen and her smile widened at the sight of the half finished dishes.

She took a moment to herself to soak in the feeling around her, the feeling of a well loved home, before getting to work. 

-

Maria woke up slowly to small beams of light streaming through her bedroom window. She yawned before wrapping her blanket tighter around her as she snuggled back into her warm bed. She was almost asleep again when her eyes shot open in panic and she looked at the clock on he nightstand, it read 6:37 A.M. 

"Oh shit, my alarm didn't go off!" She said as she scrambled out of bed quickly throwing on the closest pair of pants and quickly changing her shirt.She needed to make Monica breakfast before the school bus showed up at seven on the dot. 

She stopped half way down the stairs, still tugging her shirt on, when she heard Monica's laugh coming from the kitchen and the events of the previous day came rushing back to her. Warmth blossomed in her chest when she heard Monica laugh again but this time it was joined by Carol's. 

The smell of coffee and pancakes wafted from the kitchen as Maria reached the dining room. She smiled as she leaned on the doorframe that connected to the kitchen.

"And in comes Soren, steaming mad, so Talos shapeshifts into me. Which is really odd by the way." Carol laughs at her own story and is about to continue when she spots Maria in the doorway. 

"Well goodmorning sleepy head." 

"Yeah it seems that my alarm was turned off this morning." Maria said skeptically as she eyed a not so innocent looking Carol. 

"I wonder how that happened." Maria could see Carol grin at her as she spoke into her coffee cup before taking a small sip. 

"There's pancakes and hot coffee by the stove." Carol says with a wave of her hand and Maria spys a massive stack of misshapen pancakes.Maria slowly makes herself a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee, watching and listening to Carol finish telling her story to Monica. 

Watching her tell the story, Maria could still see the Carol Danvers she knew and loved. Carol always animated the stories she told with wild hand movements. The smile on her face as she spoke wasn't as bright and shining as it used to be, but after last night's nightmar, Maria couldn't blame her. But it never left her face as she talked with Monica and grew ever everytime Monica giggled at her words.

Listening to the story was both amusing and heartbreaking. It wasn't a sad story at all, but it was a reminder that Carol was needed elsewhere and that this, the pancakes and coffee and stories of adventures and mishaps was only temporary. That Carol was going to be off somewhere else risking her life in the near future.

A loud honk from outside shook Maria from her thoughts.

"The bus!" Monica exclaimed as she ran and grabbed her backpack. 

"Bye mom! Bye Auntie Carol!" She yelled as she raced out the front door.

"Bye sweety, love you!" Carol yell after her. 

Maria eyed Carol hesitantly. Carol looked stunned by her own words for a moment before a wide grin broke out on her face. 

"I hate to watch her go." Carol's voice was tight. Maria could see the shimmer of tears brimming in the blondes eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What would you guys think about having a Maria only POV chapter? (I kinda did this at the very end and really liked it)
> 
> Sorry for the delay, this was almost ready a few weeks ago but then the world cup hit me like spiderman got hit by that train


	6. Snippets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a Maria POV based chapter. I've been wanting to do one of these for a while and I think now is the perfect time for it.

_She's not dead_

Was all that Maria could think on her drive home after possibly the worst day of her life, second only to the day of the accident. She'd almost broke down at the sight of the Mustang that was still parked next to her Camaro as she left the military base, but she knew she had to stay strong for their daughter and for herself. 

_I can feel it in my heart, she's not dead._

_She can't be... she promised._

Carol had promised her and more importantly Monica that she would always come home no matter how long it took her and Carol Susan Jane Davnvers never broke a promise. (Well except to stop taking "short cuts") 

Maria sat in her car outside her apartment building just staring up at the small window. She half expected, half _praying_ that she would see Carol standing there with Monica on her hip, both of them waving at her with those big stupid grins that she loved so much. Maria blinked the forming tears out of her eyes at the daydream. 

It had been four days since the " _incident_ " as her superior officer's called it. They didn't even have the balls to call it what it was, a rogue mission that cost them a billion dollars. A billion dollars and two lives.

Monica had taken the news that her 'Auntie Carol' (Maria was thankful that they had gotten her to start calling her that before she started preschool) was gone a lot better than Maria was expecting.

"She'll be back, she promised." Monica sounded so sure that Maria started to believe a bit more.

Maria had been holding out on the hope that when she came into work that one of the newbies would come rushing up to her and tell her the great news that Carol was alive and was waiting for her, but it never came.

Carol's mother, her only surviving blood relative, had flown down yesterday from Boston to retrieve her daughter's belongings. It killed Maria watch the woman that had abandoned her daughter pack up Carol's tiny apartment with such little emotion. Most of everything Carol owned was at her apartment, so the tiny one bedroom apartment was barren and covered with a fine layer of dust. 

"You loved her didn't you." Maria could see the look of regret bleed through the blank mask the older woman wore as she examined one of the few pictures Carol had in her apartment. It was of Maria and Carol leaning against the bar at Pancho's, caught mid laugh. 

"I do, she is my best friend." Maria couldn't give up the feeling that Carol was still out there, somewhere.

"I think this is the happiest I've ever seen her. I wish I could have seen it for real." The small smile and the tears running down her face broke Maria's heart. Carol had never truly hated her mother, she just hated how she never stood up for her against her father.

Today Davidson, one of the few decent men on base, had been apart of the clean up crew. He had given her the charred and broken dog tag and had told her that they didn't find either Lawson's or Carol's bodies. That simple fact gave Maria an immense amount of hope and dread all at once. 

_If they didn't find their bodies, are they still alive?_  
_If they're alive why aren't they at the crash sight?_  
_Were they captured or attacked?_

Maria's brain could have gone on and on with 'what if' question, but she had to deal with the reality right infront of her. That there wasn't anything she could do right now, other than hope and continue living her life. It's what she needed to do for herself and her daughter, but right now all Maria could do was sit there in her car and remember. 

Remember the sound of her laughter when Monica would make a funny face as a baby. 

Remember the light blue sun dress Maria had to force her to wear to Monica's preschool graduation. 

Remember the tears in her eyes and the massive smile on her face when she first held Monica. 

Remember the way she tasted like cheap beer and Chinese food as they ignored the movie in the VHS player in favor of one another. 

Remember bandaging her bloody fists and putting a bag of frozen peas over a bruised cheek bone after a short bar fight with one of the douche-ier pilots that ended with Carol as the victor and a busted pinball machine. 

Remember stolen kisses every chance they got. 

Remember the weight of the ring inside her pocket that she had been too terrified to give to her, that now just weighed with regret and heartache. 

\---

Maria didn't know how many beers or shots she had done so far, but she knew Carol had done twice as many. Pancho's was crowded on the average Friday night, but this was not your average Friday night. They were celebrating Maria's promotion to Captain.

"Come on _Captain_ , it's your turn!" Carol slurred drunkenly as she pulled Maria towards the Karaoke machine. Maria sighed happily as she let the woman drag her across the bar.

Carol was the spirit of adventure and Maria was the spirit of being reasonable. Carol came up with wild and outrageous plans and Maria pulled her back and made her think it through. Carol also pushed Maria to be more adventurous and to take bigger risks. They fed off each other and pushed each other. ' _You two are the most dangerous combo I've ever seen, and I can't tell if that is a good thing or a bad thing._ ' one of the visiting commander told them after one of their meetings. 

"Oh Captain, my Captain! Sing us a song!" Carol shouted. 

"When you make Captain I'm got to make you regret this." Maria said as she begrudgingly accepted the microphone. 

"You better." Carol said with her signature smirk and a spark in her eye that had Maria pushing down feelings that she didn't want to think about. 

They danced and sang and partied well into the night, with their brains fuzzy and their hearts full. They rode with their fellow pilot Steve to the bar and who had volunteered to take them back to their apartments. They were piled in the back of Steve's old jeep that had both of them wincing everytime he shifted gears. 

Carol was rambling to Steve about one of their test flight last week while Maria just sat back and watched as Carol animatedly told the story. She could feel her heart grow as she listened to her talk about flying and flying with her.

"I knew from the moment I met her that she was like no one I'd've met before. She was this badass who didn't take crap from anyone and who absolutely sucked at pinball."

"Excuse me! Who was it that destroyed the pinball machine before I count take my title back?"

"Brad."

"And who punched him into it?"

"Me," Carol said with a proud and dopey grin on her face. "and I would do it again in a heart beat." Maria had to force down the same feeling she had felt at the karaoke machine earlier tonight. 

It was getting harder and harder to keep those feelings down. She felt like she was trying to fill an over stuffed container and that one day it would burst, and something would break. Whether it was her heart or her job she didn't know, but she would keep trying to fill it for as long as she could. She was happy with her life right now, she had her dream job and her best friend by her side. She wouldn't give that up for anything, even for a chance at something more. 

"Alright Carol this is your place." Steve said as he pulled up in front of Carol's building. Carol pouted at the sight of her building. 

"You know what Steve, just come back here tomorrow morning. It doesn't make sense to drop me off at my place when I could just stay here." Maria knew she made the right decision when Carol turned back into the happy golden retriever she normally was instead of the kicked puppy look she had on. 

"You sure? It's not an issue."

"Yeah, it will save some time and this one," Maria said as she lightly shoved Carol, "will probably fall asleep walking to her apartment." Maria's point was made by Carol letting out a long yawn.

They stumbled towards Carol's tiny apartment, Maria half carrying her best friend. She's pretty sure they've woken up half of the neighbors with their drunken stumbling and laughter. Carol fumbles for her keys, trying to get her door key when Maria takes them from her and easily unlocks the door. 

She's seen Carol's apartment before but it stuns her every time she sees it. With the exception of a few picture frames, strewn mail on the counter top, dirty dishes in the sink, and some basic furniture the apartment was barren. It was a stark contrast to her well loved apartment that, well, felt lived in.

She wasn't sure if it was the alchohol in her system or pang of hurt in her chest at the sight of the almost empty apartment, that she had to ask, "Why does your appartment always look so sad?"

The puzzled look Carol gave her through half lided eyes made her elaborate, "It feels so empty and barren, like you don't actually live here."

"It's just an apartment Rambeau."

"Yeah, but you've been to mine, there's color and life and memories there."

"Trust me I would much rather be at your apartment." Carol grumbled as she removed her self from Maria's side and made her way to her kitchen to get them glasses of water. 

"What if you want to have guests over?"

"You're the only other person who comes over here, the only person I want here." Carol said softly.

"Come on _Captain_ let's stop talking about my poor interior design skills and get some shut eye. The boss isn't going to be happy if we're hungover and can't keep our eyes open." Carol shifting the mood of their conversation as she passed her one of the glasses of water and Maria eyed her as she took a long sip of the water.

Maria knew Carol better than that, she knew Carol was deflecting and knew to not dig deeper. The Carol would come to her when she was ready. 

"Your not too far from Captain yourself Avenger. It won't be too long before I force you to sing in front of everyone."

"Yeah, but at least I'll be good at it." Carol's taunting smirk told her that she was only teasing. 

"Good at it like you are flying? Miss 'I almost stalled the engines'."

"That was so we could test how high the engines would function and you're one to talk Miss 'Where's the fuel meter again?' "

"That was a redesigned cockpit, I had no idea where they moved it to!"

"Yeah," Carol said with sarcasm dripping from her voice "that's why you have two bars on your shoulders now."

Maria gasped in mock offense at her bestfriend "You take that back."

"Whatcha gonna do about it Rambeau?" 

"You really wanna test me Danvers?"

"Bring it _Photon_."

At Carol's final taunt Maria vaulted over the small countertop that separated them with more agility that she expected from herself, but Carol was ready for her. The blonde saw the move coming and quickly dashed towards her small living room. 

Maria stumble lightly as she gave chase, grinning wildly the entire time. Carol clearly didn't think her plan through as Maria now had her trapped, with only Carol's cheap coffee table in between them and her beat up couch and TV to their left and right. 

"You're trapped now _Avenger_." Maria taunted Carol the same way she had moments before. 

"Always so sure if yourself aren't you Rambeau."

"With good reason."

Carol feigned left towards the TV before quickly changing her direction towards the couch and Maria fell for it. Carol would have made it past her if Maria hadn't grown up with twin brothers that lived down the street from her. They also wouldn't have ended up in this situation if those same childhood instincts hadn't caused Maria to tackle Carol onto the couch. 

They had devolved into a tangled mess of limbs and laughter as Carol tried to wrestle her way out. She was sure the amount of noise they were making this early in the morning would have the neighbors knocking on the door, but the knock never came. 

Their laughter died down as they both became winded from the amount of laughing and exertion they put on one another. 

They were both panting heavily when Maria realized their position. She had Carol's arms pinned and her hips slotted between Carol's legs. She slowly took in their position, her eyes roaming up and down the woman underneath her. She made the mistake of looking at Carol's face. The blonde just stared at her with darkened eyes, watching her.

Maria's brain and heart were at war during that long moment. Her brain was telling her that this wasn't right, but her heart was saying the opposite, and her heart was winning as she slowly leaned forward. Her face was inches from her bestfriend's face, their breaths mingling. She could smell the cheap beer and a hint of cherry from Carol's chapstick. She could see the deep blush that was spread across her face and just how wide her pupils were dilated. 

"Maria..." Carol whispered, her voice sounded rougher than normal after a night out and the haze that she had been in suddenly vanished and she quickly stood up. 

"Sorry, sorry, that got," Maria took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart and find the right word to describe what had just happened, " _rougher_ , than I intended."

Maria made her next mistake of the night and looked down at Carol who was still splayed out on the couch. Her wild blonde hair was sprawled around her head. She was still breathing hard and the deep blush on her face hadn't lessened. Her shirt had ridden up enough to reveal the firm abs that she had seen plenty of times while they were changing into their flight suits, but this felt different. 

"Yeah, yeah," Carol shook her head lightly as she sat up slowly, peeling her body off the old couch from where Maria had pressed her into it. "Don't worry about it." Her voice was still rough as she spoke. 

"Um, I'll take the couch you can have my bed." Carol refused to look at her as she spoke. Maria couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

"You could use the beauty sleep, _Captain_." Carol finally looked at her and Maria knew that something had changed between them but that they were going to be okay. Not the same but okay. 

It was a week later that Maria met Frank. She was out with Carol again but things had been slightly tense ever since that night. She was talking, or flirting (if you could call it that), with him at the bar while Carol was off playing the new fighting game the bar had just bought while ignoring her. He was sweet and dorky and more importantly not _her_.

He's just passing through town and Maria never got his last name even as they made their way back to his hotel room. She kept having the same thought that night. 

It's not her

It's _not_ her

_It's not her_

\---

"Carol?" Maria shouted as she took her shoes off in the front hall of her Lousiana home. It was odd to not hear the blonde making a ruckus somewhere around the house. 

" _Carol?!_ " Maria yelled again in panic when she didn't get a response. 

There were so many thoughts running through her head as she dropped her purse and raced into the dining. 

She wouldn't leave without saying something. Would she?

What if it was an emergency and she had to leave right away?

What if it is an emergency and she gets hurt or...?

Her panicked thoughts stopped when she ran into the living room and saw Carol passed out on the couch with the TV paused on one of their old home movies from when Monica was a baby. She released a long sigh of relief at the sight. 

Carol made a low humming noise as she shifted in her sleep. Maria had missed these little moments. She knelt down next to the sleeping woman and slowly ran her fingers through the soft blonde hair. 

"Carol," Maria whispered softly and Carol stirred again but remained asleep. 

"Baby," Maria tried again and this time Carol shifted again so she was facing Maria and her arm that wasn't pinned beneath her reached for Maria's stomach. Carol cracked an eye when her hand passed a few inches away from where her stomach should be. Maria chuckled at the sight and looked fondly at the still half asleep woman as she maneuver her hand to her waist. 

"At least your memory is starting to return, but I'm not pregnant any more."

"You're never doing that again." Carol mumbled into her pillow. 

"Yeah, Monica is enough for me."

"I meant fucking anyone else, but that works too." 

"Is that so?" Maria's eyebrows raised at her statement, just to tease the blonde even though she was right. 

"Yeah, you're my wife."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh ignore the 6ish months where I kinda died. This chapter is definitely my favorite I've written. Also I hope that the whole it's not her thing came across how I wanted it to. Like it supposed to feel more and more desperate. Like good it's not her to oh fuck it's not her.

**Author's Note:**

> I made a tumblr for asking you guys (the readers) questions that I have while writing this or for you guys to tell me your ideas  
> http://thunder42shock.tumblr.com/


End file.
